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Buy the song here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/cool-patrol-single/id1165104558 Written by Ninja Sex Party (Dan Avidan and Brian Wecht) Performed by Ninja Sex Party and TWRP Starring: Jacksepticeye as The Kid Markiplier as Cool Patrol Leader Ryan Magee as Verified Cool Patrol Member Matt Wilson as Unverified Cool Patrol Member Jordan McQuiston, Diamond Walker, and Hunter Collins as Roller Dancers Zan Alda as Cow Barry Kramer as Camel Kaden Vu and Eric Radic as Bullies Lala Araki, Milloux, and Lindsey Jennings as Roller Ladies Jordan Irby, Jeffrey Minter, Viktoria Ershova, Jonathan Sapp, Christina Correa, Kassandra Corea, Pamela Horton, Vernon Shaw, Kyle Crosby, and Daniel Stonem Ali, Meredith Quail, and Amy as Roller Rink Patrons Director: Sean Barrett Editor: Sean Barrett Producer: Svetlana Dekic Production Supervisor: Sarah Williams Director of Photography: Gordon Yould Additional Post-Production: Matt Watson 1st AC: Brooks Burgoon 2nd AC: Jeffrey Ball Steadicam Operator: Bryant Swanstrom Gaffer: Seth Naugle Key Grip: Conrad Wrobel Media Manager: Andrew Fontanelle Makeup: Taja Davis Wardrobe: Lici Koch NSP Costumes: Kristen Carr Art Department: Kati Schwartz Production Assistants: Tasha Anderson, Rory Ross Manager: Brent Lilley Lyrics: Yo Ninja Brian, you see that high schooler over there getting pushed around? This looks like a job for the Cool Patrol! Hey Kid! (Yo!) You're getting picked on in school The other boys! (Huh!)! They say you just ain't cool Well that's bullshit! (Yeah!!) We're gonna teach you the rules Those motherfuckers ain't gonna bother you no more We are the bad boys (Oh!) from the tough side of town We are the Cool Patrol (Woo!) we'll turn your life around Those bullies (AW SHIT) their ass is done for now We're gonna show you how! So fuckin' listen y'all! First… You put your hands in the air And you jump off the ground And then you take that funky butt and you shake it all around And lightly jog in place and then crank it up to a prance This is the cool patrol dance Now put your hands in your pockets And take them right back out Then spin around in a circle and make an animal sound (moo) Then glide into the sprinkler like you're gonna water the plants This is the cool patrol dance Whee! Motherfuckin' bullies better watch their ass You're sending all them shits a message there's a new king in class When they see you they're gonna freak out and piss their pants THEY ARE YOUR BITCHES! THEY ARE YOUR BITCHES BECAUSE... You put your hands in the air And then stick out your rear end And then you wiggle it real hard and you hug your closest friend And then you wildly remove your clothes and tearaway pants This is the cool patrol dance Now rub the peanut butter on you From your head to your feet And cover up your nudity with different cheeses and meats Then slap a camel because this could be your only chance This is the cool patrol dance Cool Break! *synth solo* You put your hands in the air And grab a bird from the sky And eat it whole so that you may absorb its power of flight Now you can also dive bomb fish because your vision's enhanced This is the cool patrol dance You're basically a superhero now So throw some cars Then rub your magnum thighs together and set fire to Mars Now harness all your sexy fury in a victory stance This is the cool patrol dance!
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